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January 1, 2026
Why Patience is Critical as A Supervisor
Introduction
A newly promoted charge nurse in a busy hospital emergency room asked how they can learn patience in dealing with less-experienced or less-competent direct reports when they recognize that the direct reports might take longer or ask more questions than expected. First, I congratulated the charge nurse for recognizing that their impatience could be from comparing their own personal expectation to that of the direct report, and for not just blaming the direct reports as being incompetent, lazy, or apathetic.
A supervisor can learn patience with less-experienced or less-competent direct reports by reframing competence development, recalibrating expectations, and intentionally adopting a coaching-oriented leadership approach. Research in leadership, adult learning, and organizational behavior suggests that impatience often stems not from poor intent, but from unexamined assumptions about expertise, speed, and responsibility (Yukl, 2013).
Reframing competence as developmental rather than global
Supervisors are frequently promoted because of demonstrated technical or professional competence. Over time, this expertise can become internalized as a baseline expectation for others, leading to frustration when direct reports do not perform at the same level. However, competence is not a fixed trait; it is context-dependent and develops through experience, feedback, and reflection (Dweck, 2006; Kolb, 1984).
"When supervisors view performance gaps as learning gaps rather than deficiencies in character or motivation, emotional reactivity decreases and patience increases."
Separating speed from effectiveness
Highly competent supervisors often equate speed with quality, particularly in fast-paced or high-accountability environments. Yet research on skill acquisition demonstrates that novices require more cognitive processing time to integrate new information and apply it accurately (Ericsson et al., 2006). Patience develops when supervisors adjust their internal benchmarks from “how quickly I would complete this task” to “what level of performance is reasonable given the employee’s current stage of development” (Yukl, 2013). This shift prioritizes long-term effectiveness over short-term efficiency.
Adopting a coaching rather than production mindset
Impatience frequently arises when supervisors feel accountable for outcomes but perceive limited control over how work is executed. Adopting a coaching mindset restores agency by repositioning the supervisor as a facilitator of learning rather than a sole producer of results (Ellinger et al., 2010). Coaching behaviors, such as asking reflective questions, clarifying expectations, and encouraging problem-solving, slow interactions in the short term but accelerating competence development and autonomy over time.
Making inferred expertise explicit
Experts often suffer from what cognitive researchers describe as “expert blind spots,” where deeply ingrained knowledge becomes difficult to articulate (Ambrose et al., 2010). Supervisors may assume that certain steps, decisions, or priorities are obvious when they are not. Patience grows when supervisors intentionally externalize their thinking by breaking tasks into stages, explaining decision rationales, and surfacing implicit assumptions. This reduces repeated errors that commonly trigger frustration and erode trust.
Regulating emotional responses, not just behavior
Patience is not merely behavioral restraint; it requires emotional self-regulation. Emotional
intelligence research highlights the importance of recognizing physiological and emotional cues, such as irritation, urgency, or the impulse to interrupt, and deliberately pausing before responding (Goleman, 1998). Even brief regulatory strategies, such as asking clarifying questions or deferring corrective feedback, can prevent competence gaps from escalating into relational damage. The relationship is the foundation that trust is built on.
Clarifying responsibility while preserving ownership
While supervisors remain accountable for outcomes, direct reports must retain ownership of their learning and performance. Patience increases when supervisors establish clear standards, timelines, and consequences, then allow space for mistakes within those boundaries (Edmondson, 2018). Excessive control undermines learning, while insufficient guidance invites failure. Balanced
expectations support growth without enabling persistent underperformance.
Recognizing power asymmetry and ethical responsibility
Supervisory relationships are inherently uneven in power and perspective. Supervisors choose their role and possess authority; direct reports experience expectations largely imposed upon them. Awareness of this asymmetry encourages humility and ethical restraint (Ciulla, 2020).
What feels like “basic competence” from a supervisory perspective may feel overwhelming from the direct report. In this sense, patience is not simply a personality trait but an ethical use of power, leveraging authority to develop capability rather than asserting dominance.
Conclusion
Supervisors learn patience not by lowering standards, but by shifting how they interpret and respond to performance gaps. Rather than comparing a direct report’s output to their own level of expertise, effective supervisors make a developmental comparison, assessing where the employee is relative to where they started and what capabilities are emerging over time. This shift moves the supervisor’s mindset from pure execution to education, recognizing that their role is no longer to be the best or most technically proficient person in the room, but to translate knowledge into learning. When supervisors understand that competence is built through exposure, feedback, and practice, then impatience gives way to structured coaching and realistic expectations.
In this way, patience becomes a strategic leadership skill rather than a personality trait. It allows supervisors to channel frustration into intentional capability-building, designing learning moments, calibrating feedback, and pacing accountability to match readiness. Over time, this approach multiplies effectiveness: individual expertise is no longer siloed in the supervisor but distributed across the team. The result is not only stronger performance and reduced burnout for the supervisor, but greater resilience, continuity, and adaptability for the organization as a whole.
Quotes to Put Into Practice
“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”
-- Joyce Meyer, American Christian author, speaker
REFERENCES
• Ambrose, S. A., Bridges, M. W., DiPietro, M., Lovett, M. C., & Norman, M. K. (2010). How learning works: Seven research-based principles for smart teaching. Jossey-Bass.
• Ciulla, J. B. (2020). Ethics, the heart of leadership (4th ed.). Praeger.
• Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.
• Edmondson, A. C. (2018). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. Wiley.
• Ellinger, A. D., Beattie, R. S., & Hamlin, R. G. (2010). The “manager as coach” role: A review of the literature. Human Resource Development Review, 9(3), 239–266. https://doi.org/10.1177/1534484310373692
• Ericsson, K. A., Charness, N., Feltovich, P. J., & Hoffman, R. R. (2006). The Cambridge handbook of expertise and expert performance. Cambridge University Press.
• Goleman, D. (1998). Working with emotional intelligence. Bantam Books.
• Kolb, D. A. (1984). Experiential learning: Experience as the source of learning and development. Prentice Hall.
• Yukl, G. (2013). Leadership in organizations (8th ed.). Pearson.