Behavior-Based Leadership
and Followership
Training
Founded 2010
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NOVEMBER 1, 2025
Why Leaders Should Give Without Expectation of Return
Introduction
This last Halloween, I was again invited to participate in an organization’s Halloween event that involved bringing employee’s kids and visitors to “trick-or-treat” within the organization. Last year one of the areas of the organization was very well decorated and everyone loved it. I saw this year that it wasn’t decorated and the employees in that unit went to other places to enjoy the festivities. I asked the supervisor why their unit didn’t participate and the supervisor told me, “I do all of the decorating for them and they don’t appreciate it enough to do something for me, so I’m done.”
In my work on leadership and followership, I often emphasize that when a boss provides a gift or gesture to their team, it should come with no expectation of something in return.
The moment a gift becomes transactional, it shifts from gratitude to manipulation, and that change undermines trust, authenticity, and the behavioral connection that allows leadership and followership to genuinely connect and function as one.
Referent Power and Servant Leadership in Action
Within the Liminal Space framework, leaders and followers exist in a shared behavioral space where influence flows both ways, frequently both ways through the same person. Leaders who give freely operate through referent power, the type of influence built on respect, admiration, and trust rather than positional authority (French & Raven, 1959).
When followers perceive a leader’s generosity as authentic and willing, they align voluntarily, not because they must, but because they want to. That authenticity strengthens the leader’s credibility and creates psychological safety across the group.
This aligns perfectly with the idea of servant leadership. Servant leadership, which places service before self-interest, in my opinion emanates from Referent power. True servant-leaders give to uplift others, not to leverage their power with their followers. Their generosity reflects humility and empathy, fostering a culture where care is reciprocal and sustainable (Greenleaf, 1977; Spears, 2010).
Self-Sacrifice and the S.T.I.C.K.U.M. Model
In the S.T.I.C.K.U.M. framework (Self-Sacrifice, Teamwork, Interaction, Competition, Keep members Focused, Unique Norms and Symbols, and Mission) for building cohesion in groups, the “S” stands for Self-Sacrifice, the behavioral willingness to put others’ needs or the mission above personal gain or at a personal cost. When a leader demonstrates self-sacrifice, even through something as simple as decorating a work area for Halloween, without expectation of anything in return, it models commitment, integrity, and shared purpose for the entire team, not just to get something in return.
That act communicates, “We’re in this together.” It reduces hierarchical separation, increases cohesion, and helps form the behavioral adhesive that binds teams through both challenge and change.
The Behavior of Giving Without Strings
When appreciation is unconditional:
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It preserves integrity and builds mutual trust.
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It models humility and authentic care.
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It fosters voluntary reciprocity instead of compliance.
These are not just gestures, they are leadership behaviors that create cohesion, belonging, and a culture of respect.
The Takeaway
True influence doesn’t come from what a leader expects in return, it comes from how they make others feel seen, valued, and supported. When leaders give freely and model self-sacrifice, they activate the very behaviors that strengthen both connection and cohesion. That’s what leadership looks like when it’s done for people, not to them.
Quotes to Put Into Practice
> Generosity is doing something for someone else expecting nothing in return.
- Simon Sinek
> To be kind is good. To be kind without expecting anything in return is better.
- Tariq Ramadan